Bronny and the Bishops have written well over 100 songs.
Here are a few of them. Click to expand.
More added regularly
Here are a few of them. Click to expand.
More added regularly
above the glass ceiling
To the tune "Chatanooga Choo Choo"
I am woman hear me sob.
What more can you rob?
My dignity, my self worth, my career?
Pardon me boys, (yes girlie)
am I above the glass ceiling?(yes you are)
Can I come in, (just wait)
or is it a sin? (Now you’re talking)
In the cabinet room, (she still here?)
there is an awkward feeling (very awkward feeling)
Tho I am game, (oh good)
so few women's a shame (we like it like that)
You leave your feminism at the door and think like a man.
We will listen to your views but won't change our plan.
If you play your cards right then we just might,
Let you stay and make our coffee late at night.
When you hear the leader talking time you shut up.
Then you'll hear the pearls of wisdom drop from above.
Never interrupt him when he's got a roll on
Woo, hoo cabinet member there you are.
MEN
I'd like to get (here it comes)
in to your innuendo (fat chance)
You want to get on, (here’s the catch)
Don't dare complain, (there’s no point anyway)
No one will hear, (I’ll turn you in)
You know I couldn't care less(seems no-one does)
I'll be back for more, (what do I do?)
it's yes or the door
You leave your feminism at the door and think like a man.
We will listen to your views but won't change our plan.
If you play your cards right then we just might,
Let you stay and make our coffee late at night.
I might just be (WHAT?)
the only token woman member, (token woman member)
But this is my hour, (Sure sweetie)
and I have the power (not really)
I can expose (yes please )
the dirty secrets you have locked up (nothing’ll change)
Well have an inquiry to shut you up
No more male bullies, It's time we women spoke up
Testosterone.
I am woman hear me sob.
What more can you rob?
My dignity, my self worth, my career?
Pardon me boys, (yes girlie)
am I above the glass ceiling?(yes you are)
Can I come in, (just wait)
or is it a sin? (Now you’re talking)
In the cabinet room, (she still here?)
there is an awkward feeling (very awkward feeling)
Tho I am game, (oh good)
so few women's a shame (we like it like that)
You leave your feminism at the door and think like a man.
We will listen to your views but won't change our plan.
If you play your cards right then we just might,
Let you stay and make our coffee late at night.
When you hear the leader talking time you shut up.
Then you'll hear the pearls of wisdom drop from above.
Never interrupt him when he's got a roll on
Woo, hoo cabinet member there you are.
MEN
I'd like to get (here it comes)
in to your innuendo (fat chance)
You want to get on, (here’s the catch)
Don't dare complain, (there’s no point anyway)
No one will hear, (I’ll turn you in)
You know I couldn't care less(seems no-one does)
I'll be back for more, (what do I do?)
it's yes or the door
You leave your feminism at the door and think like a man.
We will listen to your views but won't change our plan.
If you play your cards right then we just might,
Let you stay and make our coffee late at night.
I might just be (WHAT?)
the only token woman member, (token woman member)
But this is my hour, (Sure sweetie)
and I have the power (not really)
I can expose (yes please )
the dirty secrets you have locked up (nothing’ll change)
Well have an inquiry to shut you up
No more male bullies, It's time we women spoke up
Testosterone.
Age OF entitlement
Age of Entitlement
The Neoliberal Anthem - a tribute to Pete Seeger To tune of Age of Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine
1) Now that Joe... is in the House
And Gina ... has her way
The markets ... rule the planet
And cash can fill our days
This is the Ending of the Age of Entitlement
The Age of Entitlement
Entitlement! Entitlement!
No more need for corporate welfare
No more need for social planning
Now the playing field is level
Let the rich keep getting richer
And the poor can be forgotten
And society liberated from
Entitlement! Entitlement
2) Axe the funds, for education,
Public service, administration
Change the rules for sick and disabled
And work till you are 70 years of age
CHORUS (This is the ending of the Age of Entitlement….
No compassion and no understanding
Grange, cigars and Winks abounding
Permanent and harsh for many,
But for the rich it’s temporary,
And the rest are propping up the
Common people are deprived of all
Entitlements, Entitlements…..
Now that tony has brought back titles
Madam Bron and Julie get their way
Sir Rupert will rule the planet
And the Packers will never have to pay.
CHORUS
Let the jobs come
Let the jobs come
The jobs will come
The Neoliberal Anthem - a tribute to Pete Seeger To tune of Age of Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine
1) Now that Joe... is in the House
And Gina ... has her way
The markets ... rule the planet
And cash can fill our days
This is the Ending of the Age of Entitlement
The Age of Entitlement
Entitlement! Entitlement!
No more need for corporate welfare
No more need for social planning
Now the playing field is level
Let the rich keep getting richer
And the poor can be forgotten
And society liberated from
Entitlement! Entitlement
2) Axe the funds, for education,
Public service, administration
Change the rules for sick and disabled
And work till you are 70 years of age
CHORUS (This is the ending of the Age of Entitlement….
No compassion and no understanding
Grange, cigars and Winks abounding
Permanent and harsh for many,
But for the rich it’s temporary,
And the rest are propping up the
Common people are deprived of all
Entitlements, Entitlements…..
Now that tony has brought back titles
Madam Bron and Julie get their way
Sir Rupert will rule the planet
And the Packers will never have to pay.
CHORUS
Let the jobs come
Let the jobs come
The jobs will come
all labor's fault
Original tune and lyrics
This song often changes, cos there's no end to Labor's blameworthiness. Coalition government was god’s gift to man. Don't blame us 'cause it don't go to plan To criticism of us you should call a halt. The problems in our country are all Labor's fault. The adults are in charge now we're in government We take responsibility for blaming them They were so incompetent, they need a jolt Every single problem is Labor's fault. The budget’s in a mess.. Labor's fault Housing unaffordability Higher unemployment Weak economic growth Labor's debt and deficit disaster left a hole Our deeper deficits, done with soul Labor always spent like there was no tomorrow. From future generations we are forced to borrow. quarantine debacle Biloela family No power policies... Scott Morrison If you have a problem, get on those phones Don't call us, no, call Alan Jones Labor loaded you with tax, tax, tax. Now we have removed that burden from your backs You should be grateful, but our polling's going down Scomo got it up but it flopped back down Election rorts Multinationals pay no tax Living standards in decline CO2 emissions If your crops Wilt and fail Left on hold on your phone Run out of beer where’s the end of the sellotape can’t fast forward live tv You forgot your password Your partner's alcoholic.... unexpected item in the bagging area (Clive Palmer) If you can't get it up... Every single problem that you can name You should know by now who is to blame Labor is the devil, it is evil as hell demean and demonise them, that is right and well If we were all dressed in medieval britches All of Labor's members would be burned as witches. You know it's all Labor's fault |
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all you need is fear
To the tune "all you need is love" The Beatles.
Australians you can trust us To protect you from Fear, fear, fear If you want people to vote for you It is really clear what you must do Forget about explaining policies Scary threats will get people on their knees (Please save us) All you need is fear Tell people they might lose their jobs, Or get swamped by asylum seeker mobs Scare them Medicare's under threat So's their super, tax break or benefit (It's easy) All you need is fear Some say "love is all you need" But a better motivator is greed If people fear they're losing out Or that their future is in doubt (Self interest) All you need is fear Well protect you / fear is all you need |
anthem
Australians you are ostriches
Your heads stuck in the sand Your country and it's riches bound For shores beyond this land The land is mined for coal and gas Adani’s gaping hole Its landscape trashed, for lots of cash Your country is for sale With thanks cos there’s a cut for us Your country is for sale Beneath Eureka’s southern cross You fight to have a voice To live and work in freedom here Equality and choice (Hah! sucked in) For those who come across the sea The doors are slammed and shut !! No asylum, so do not come Australia is unjust With pathetic pleading voice you sing In government we don't trust. Once there was a helping hand for those of you in need We’ve rigged the system to reward privilege and greed If you're low class you're on your arse We powerful do not care Look where we've come, the depths we plumb Australia is not fair. Where it ends on you depends Advance Australia where? |
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bang bang
Original tune and lyrics, fragment of "Happiness is a warm gun" The Beatles.
Sheriff, there's a few things you need to know
Before you come any closer
I'm a man don't trust no gov’ment
And I'll stand up for mah rights
When I was a boy I put my old dog down
And then I put down my old paw.
Me’n paw couldn’t tol'rate each other
But Gator, was my bess fri-end
Was My best friend. My best friend,
Gator Was my best friend
Pathetic ole paw he pushed me too far
But Gator was my best fri-end.
I dealt with my Melania...she's gone.
She musta thunk I didn’t know who she’s rootin
She'd been down in the pasture flatt'nin corn,
with mah bess friend Putin
was mah bess friend, mah bess friend
Vladimir was mah bess friend.
Now he'n Melania are pushing up corn,
but once he was mah bess fri-end
The buildin down the street, where the people meet
Filled with traitors like pissweak Mikey Pence
I aimed mah proud boys like a weapon at that bunch
Take your guns n don’t stop at the fence
Was my good deputy, my good deputy,
Little Mikey was my good deputy
Until he betrayed me he yes man all the way’d me
Little Mikey … might end up like Kennedy
so sheriff, there's only so much a man cin take
Before he gives some lead.
You're a fahn friend, so get off mah property
Befo' I put a bullet in your haid
You're my good friend, my good friend,
Sheriff We goes a long ways back.
So I want you off my property before. BANG
Ah's Sorry the song ended like that, but I am a strong believer in the rights of all Americans to bear arms and to use them when necessary. I am card carryin ammosexual
(happiness is a warm gun)
When I hold you in my arms
When I feel my finger on your trigger,
I know nobody can do me no harm because
Happiness is a warm gun… (bang bang, shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun… (bang bang, shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm yes it is...gun (bang bang, shoot shoot)
aw shoot...
Sheriff, there's a few things you need to know
Before you come any closer
I'm a man don't trust no gov’ment
And I'll stand up for mah rights
When I was a boy I put my old dog down
And then I put down my old paw.
Me’n paw couldn’t tol'rate each other
But Gator, was my bess fri-end
Was My best friend. My best friend,
Gator Was my best friend
Pathetic ole paw he pushed me too far
But Gator was my best fri-end.
I dealt with my Melania...she's gone.
She musta thunk I didn’t know who she’s rootin
She'd been down in the pasture flatt'nin corn,
with mah bess friend Putin
was mah bess friend, mah bess friend
Vladimir was mah bess friend.
Now he'n Melania are pushing up corn,
but once he was mah bess fri-end
The buildin down the street, where the people meet
Filled with traitors like pissweak Mikey Pence
I aimed mah proud boys like a weapon at that bunch
Take your guns n don’t stop at the fence
Was my good deputy, my good deputy,
Little Mikey was my good deputy
Until he betrayed me he yes man all the way’d me
Little Mikey … might end up like Kennedy
so sheriff, there's only so much a man cin take
Before he gives some lead.
You're a fahn friend, so get off mah property
Befo' I put a bullet in your haid
You're my good friend, my good friend,
Sheriff We goes a long ways back.
So I want you off my property before. BANG
Ah's Sorry the song ended like that, but I am a strong believer in the rights of all Americans to bear arms and to use them when necessary. I am card carryin ammosexual
(happiness is a warm gun)
When I hold you in my arms
When I feel my finger on your trigger,
I know nobody can do me no harm because
Happiness is a warm gun… (bang bang, shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun… (bang bang, shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm yes it is...gun (bang bang, shoot shoot)
aw shoot...
barnaby joyce
to the tune "Chattanooga Choo Choo"
This is another song that evolves, just like Barnaby
Baaa naby Joyce, the perfect choice for leader,
But he rooted his chance when he dropped his pants
Ego big as a bull, he didn't see the problem (what problem?)
Til he was forced out, bad dog get behind
stabbed his boss in the back, grabbed his old job
country boy made good at the head of the mob,
Plotted in secrecy, selfishness killed decency,
Barnstorming Barny, blast from the past
Barnaby Joyce made contradictory choices. (DICK CHOICES)
Sex at work was yes please, gay marriage no way
He's got a voice that always gets attention (so much tension)
Shoots from the lip and quick with a quip
You can tell how he is by the colour of his head,
you had better watch out when he is beetroot red
Angry coal fired outbursts made for the sound bite
Have you ever wondered is he alright?
Barnaby Joyce, forces his opinion on you (I’m always right)
“Adani’s good for the world, water rorts are ok”
Inflates himself so that you cannot avoid him
Like a giant cane toad blocking the road
Raw kiwi cunning has him running a senior job
Without a zero target he says “we’re better off”
Can you take him seriously? bumbling bumpkin Barnaby
In his akubra soaks up beer like a drought
Barnaby Joyce our most annoying politician (beats all competition)
But he is our Barn, our Joycestick of fun
Now he's in power he'll work the system til he has won
Oh Barnaby Joyce, soap opera rerun
Such a class clown
This is another song that evolves, just like Barnaby
Baaa naby Joyce, the perfect choice for leader,
But he rooted his chance when he dropped his pants
Ego big as a bull, he didn't see the problem (what problem?)
Til he was forced out, bad dog get behind
stabbed his boss in the back, grabbed his old job
country boy made good at the head of the mob,
Plotted in secrecy, selfishness killed decency,
Barnstorming Barny, blast from the past
Barnaby Joyce made contradictory choices. (DICK CHOICES)
Sex at work was yes please, gay marriage no way
He's got a voice that always gets attention (so much tension)
Shoots from the lip and quick with a quip
You can tell how he is by the colour of his head,
you had better watch out when he is beetroot red
Angry coal fired outbursts made for the sound bite
Have you ever wondered is he alright?
Barnaby Joyce, forces his opinion on you (I’m always right)
“Adani’s good for the world, water rorts are ok”
Inflates himself so that you cannot avoid him
Like a giant cane toad blocking the road
Raw kiwi cunning has him running a senior job
Without a zero target he says “we’re better off”
Can you take him seriously? bumbling bumpkin Barnaby
In his akubra soaks up beer like a drought
Barnaby Joyce our most annoying politician (beats all competition)
But he is our Barn, our Joycestick of fun
Now he's in power he'll work the system til he has won
Oh Barnaby Joyce, soap opera rerun
Such a class clown
Big banker
Big Banker
To the tune "Big Spender"
The minute he barged in the joint
I just knew he was a man with conviction
A corporate banker
Great suits and so refined.
Said he was so sorry, customers were sidelined
So if I can get to the point
Your profit focus isn’t very fair
Hey big banker
Our population aren’t all millionaires
Couldn't you cut down the costs, fees, fines
help the poor and toe the government line
Don't you make enough...money?
You got a big bonus
Your bank's financial advice
And insurance products se-em to manage well
To throw people on the street
The royal commission has confirmed your deceit
So if you want some respect
Have a heart for the average Australian...
Hey big Banker
Hey Big Banker
Hey Big Banker
Now The royal commission is through
How we keep the blow torch on you.
A reckoning for the banks overdue.
spend a little money on me x3
To the tune "Big Spender"
The minute he barged in the joint
I just knew he was a man with conviction
A corporate banker
Great suits and so refined.
Said he was so sorry, customers were sidelined
So if I can get to the point
Your profit focus isn’t very fair
Hey big banker
Our population aren’t all millionaires
Couldn't you cut down the costs, fees, fines
help the poor and toe the government line
Don't you make enough...money?
You got a big bonus
Your bank's financial advice
And insurance products se-em to manage well
To throw people on the street
The royal commission has confirmed your deceit
So if you want some respect
Have a heart for the average Australian...
Hey big Banker
Hey Big Banker
Hey Big Banker
Now The royal commission is through
How we keep the blow torch on you.
A reckoning for the banks overdue.
spend a little money on me x3
bomb iran
Big Banker
To the tune "Big Spender" The minute he barged in the joint I just knew he was a man with conviction A corporate banker Great suits and so refined. Said he was so sorry, customers were sidelined So if I can get to the point Your profit focus isn’t very fair Hey big banker Our population aren’t all millionaires Couldn't you cut down the costs, fees, fines help the poor and toe the government line Don't you make enough...money? You got a big bonus Your bank's financial advice And insurance products se-em to manage well To throw people on the street The royal commission has confirmed your deceit So if you want some respect Have a heart for the average Australian... Hey big Banker Hey Big Banker Hey Big Banker Now The royal commission is through How we keep the blow torch on you. A reckoning for the banks overdue. spend a little money on me x3 |
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bye bye bye dear pm
To the tune Bye Bye Bye Delilah Tom Jones
I saw the light as I worked late at night in my office I saw the flickering shadows loom up behind me We had the numbers As she betrayed me I watched, and went out of my mind Bye bye bye dear Kevin. Don't cry cry cry dear Kevin I could see Your ego was too big for me The polls were atrocious, and so we set you free At the end of the day, when swan went away I was waiting I crossed the hall to her room and she opened the door She stood there laughing I felt the knife in my hand, and she laughed no more By by by Juliar Don't cry cry cry Juliar Like before when you came to break down my door Zip it Juliar I just couldn't take any more Though I stopped the boats my polling was dead in the water Crisis on crisis on crisis then I got the call Turnbull the assassin Julie held the knife Malcolm plunged it and I had to fall Bye bye bye dear tony Don't cry cry cry dear tony Like before the office has blood on the floor Malcolm found out it was bound to happen once more Instrumental with knifing We all stood there laughing With the knife in our hands, but we laugh no more When I knifed Abbott I was like a rabbit In the headlights Tony was sniping at me paralysed by my fear Then up loomed Peter Dutton. Potato dressed up as mutton. Now we have Morrison struttin Dutton got shafted, Yippee he’s no longer here Bye bye bye dear PM We won't cry cry cry dear PM Revolving door, politics is war The public is pissed off and just couldn't take any more. |
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christopher pyne is saying his prayers
to the tune "Christopher Pyne is Saying His Prayers"
Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed
Droops on his little hands, curly gold head
Hush Silence
Whisper who dares,
Christopher Pyne is saying his prayers
God Bless Malcolm, sartorial sight.
Hung too far to the left so sent into the night
He fiddled and waffled alone till his end
But the RIGHT wing was never his friend
If I turn to my left Frydenburgh’s looking lost,
Ascended to treasurer, what will be the cost?
Economy’s a worry, Josh gave guarantee
We might get to surplus in 2033
Bb Bbma7 Eb Bb
Military hardware I used to do
Miss Payne had defense NOW I’ve got that one too
I am a fixer, I'm mean and I'm lean
In fact the whole party's a winning machine
Now we’ve cut aid to those countries in need,
We can sell them weapons, make millions indeed,
Warfare is so much more fun than welfare
Oh, Id better get some more gel for my hair
The citizenship circus was such a success, though
My mates made much more of it more of a mess
Barnaby bumbled badly but bravely broke through
Then cocked up his comeback doing someone new
I have charisma, in fact I’m quite cool
Ev-en though that is against party rules
I know that our polls are falling so fast
Im begging you God
Please let this job last
Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed
Droops on his little hands, curly GREY head
Hush Silence
Whisper... who CARES?
Christopher Pyne is saying his prayers
Amen.
Maybe Christopher did not get enough discipline at school
He has lost control of his motions.
Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed
Droops on his little hands, curly gold head
Hush Silence
Whisper who dares,
Christopher Pyne is saying his prayers
God Bless Malcolm, sartorial sight.
Hung too far to the left so sent into the night
He fiddled and waffled alone till his end
But the RIGHT wing was never his friend
If I turn to my left Frydenburgh’s looking lost,
Ascended to treasurer, what will be the cost?
Economy’s a worry, Josh gave guarantee
We might get to surplus in 2033
Bb Bbma7 Eb Bb
Military hardware I used to do
Miss Payne had defense NOW I’ve got that one too
I am a fixer, I'm mean and I'm lean
In fact the whole party's a winning machine
Now we’ve cut aid to those countries in need,
We can sell them weapons, make millions indeed,
Warfare is so much more fun than welfare
Oh, Id better get some more gel for my hair
The citizenship circus was such a success, though
My mates made much more of it more of a mess
Barnaby bumbled badly but bravely broke through
Then cocked up his comeback doing someone new
I have charisma, in fact I’m quite cool
Ev-en though that is against party rules
I know that our polls are falling so fast
Im begging you God
Please let this job last
Little Boy kneels at the foot of the bed
Droops on his little hands, curly GREY head
Hush Silence
Whisper... who CARES?
Christopher Pyne is saying his prayers
Amen.
Maybe Christopher did not get enough discipline at school
He has lost control of his motions.
coal fired power station
This coalition government is one of smiley-faced, happy-clappy types who really believe they are doing the right things by us, for us, and of us. This is Matt Canavan’s Dream. You will want to sing along in the chorus.
To the tune of "You Are My Sunshine"
The other night as, I lay sleeping
I dreamt sweetly through and through.
There is one reason I feel secure
And it’s all because of you
CHORUS
You are my coal fired power station
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll keep the miners, donating to us
Please don’t take my coal power away
You don’t need sunshine or wind to blow, dear
You’re not reliant on tides to flow
Please always belch smoke out of your chimney
And that is how I’ll know.
CHORUS
The reef is bleaching, the seas are rising,
A million species will go extinct
Climate extremes don’t really matter
We’re making money, the contract is inked
Chorus 2
You are my coal fired power station
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll keep the suckers, all voting for us
Please don’t take my coal power away
To the tune of "You Are My Sunshine"
The other night as, I lay sleeping
I dreamt sweetly through and through.
There is one reason I feel secure
And it’s all because of you
CHORUS
You are my coal fired power station
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll keep the miners, donating to us
Please don’t take my coal power away
You don’t need sunshine or wind to blow, dear
You’re not reliant on tides to flow
Please always belch smoke out of your chimney
And that is how I’ll know.
CHORUS
The reef is bleaching, the seas are rising,
A million species will go extinct
Climate extremes don’t really matter
We’re making money, the contract is inked
Chorus 2
You are my coal fired power station
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll keep the suckers, all voting for us
Please don’t take my coal power away
come to get trump
To the tune "Come Together" The Beatles
Here come Donald, looming up state side Like a Titanic iceberg, out of the gutter Think you know him, saviour or sleaze? got to be a Joker, he just do what he please He dress so flashy got one, big shock of hairdo, bright squirt of spraytan, he is a stunner He stroke a pussy on his knee, hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease. Come to get him right now, take him away. Own corporations avoid, pesky taxes, Pay workers peanuts, deny global warming But you know he's O. K. K. K. I'll make America great again He stocks his cabinet with, dangerous Moonshine racist cranks and generals they, take a hard line, His bloated ego could get no bigger, I've got my hands on nuclear trigger Come to get him right now, take him away. I tweet my brains out and shoot, trashy mouth off I give permission for the, hatred and bullies How did he become respectable? Scary to have world led by a self serving fool He is a liar seems so, sociopathic, but it Don't seem to matter got in, democratic. Says he puts the people at the front, Whoever Voted for this redneck... Come to get him right now, take him away. |
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corona
To the tune "Lola" The Kinks
I picked it up on a cruise around the China Sea And we drank a lot of bubbly I can guarantee, what a Boner, I contracted corona Came back to Sydney on the Ruby Princess I guess that’s what I get for a life of excess just corona Not the crown my head Nah.. Covid 19 ‘ has spread yeah We docked at the Quay-on familiar sands Now I’m stuck in my mansion, just washing my hands of corona I’m positive with corona Now Scotty and Gladys were slow to respond but I understood even though I’m a blonde I’m a persona not anyone gets corona I relax in my Kimona The countries locked down for the rest of the year But I can talk to everyone on the Twitter spher Call up the country give them my advice I’m very happy to keep looking this nice So tune in here iv e got pearls for you Bronny will help out so don’t be blue And don’t you moan though, You won't catch corona If you do what you’re told , yeah corona co co coron a Never feel you’re alone nah Corona , if you need me I’ll phone ya. Take care don’t catch corona |
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dialogues from demigods
Big clive
Queensland border project announced: The Erection Of BIG CLIVE
Welcome to the press conference. Hi, new minister for the environment and development here to announce an exciting new project at the Queensland border. Ticking all the boxes for the environment, development, jobs and culture is a colossus of a project dedicated to one of Queensland’s favourite icons: The ERECTION OF BIG CLIVE. After all this time, he deserves his own erection, and it will symbolise Queensland’s attitude to aliens as they cross the border. |
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The BIG CLIVE sculpture will be erected astride the highway at the Qld border.
BIG CLIVE funding will be diverted from the now useless Great Barrier Reef Foundation.
BIG CLIVE will be tasteful - for Queensland - made from pineapple-chunk-yellow nickel on a base of crushed bleached coral. Like all classical masterpieces, BIG CLIVE will be naked.
BIG CLIVE will feature his middle fingers up in defiance, a pineapple top haircut, his cheshire grin, a twinkle in his eye and the sun shining out of his arse - blinding oncoming traffic from NSW.
The most exciting aspect of BIG CLIVE is that he embodies government philosophy on climate change - meeting our targets using technology in a gas led recovery. All the Gold Coast’s sewerage will be pumped into Clive’s belly. State of the art technology will run a gurgling methane digester, to fuel the growing need for hot air. The waste is useful too, the bulk being pumped to sharks in fattening pens moored off Greenmount Beach … just near the wreck of the Titanic II. Herded south, the giant sharks will scare tourists towards Qld.
From BIG CLIVE’S front, a small dangling appendage will squirt the leftover concentrated corrosive liquid down on anyone left of centre, all those with pink necks, and all non QLD plated cars.
Cars swerving to avoid the liquid will make it like a live video game from the observation bay, souvenir shop, restaurant and suicide facilities. There will be jobs and growth in the voyeur tourism, panel beating, insurance and hospital industries. Of course, thousands of jobs will be created in the erection of all BIG CLIVE’S delicate parts.
Queensland never looked so attractive!
When BIG CLIVE is completed, I will announce another nation building project. BIG GINA will tower taller than Ayers Rock, (no longer Uluru). Jackhammer crews at the bottom will be chipping off rock souvenirs for tourists, until the rock is the shape of PM Peter Dutton's head, Gina patting his bald pate, keeping him in his place.
Exacting times, exciting projects from eccentric government working at the coalface, delivering the projects YOU need at the DEAD heart of Australia.
BIG CLIVE funding will be diverted from the now useless Great Barrier Reef Foundation.
BIG CLIVE will be tasteful - for Queensland - made from pineapple-chunk-yellow nickel on a base of crushed bleached coral. Like all classical masterpieces, BIG CLIVE will be naked.
BIG CLIVE will feature his middle fingers up in defiance, a pineapple top haircut, his cheshire grin, a twinkle in his eye and the sun shining out of his arse - blinding oncoming traffic from NSW.
The most exciting aspect of BIG CLIVE is that he embodies government philosophy on climate change - meeting our targets using technology in a gas led recovery. All the Gold Coast’s sewerage will be pumped into Clive’s belly. State of the art technology will run a gurgling methane digester, to fuel the growing need for hot air. The waste is useful too, the bulk being pumped to sharks in fattening pens moored off Greenmount Beach … just near the wreck of the Titanic II. Herded south, the giant sharks will scare tourists towards Qld.
From BIG CLIVE’S front, a small dangling appendage will squirt the leftover concentrated corrosive liquid down on anyone left of centre, all those with pink necks, and all non QLD plated cars.
Cars swerving to avoid the liquid will make it like a live video game from the observation bay, souvenir shop, restaurant and suicide facilities. There will be jobs and growth in the voyeur tourism, panel beating, insurance and hospital industries. Of course, thousands of jobs will be created in the erection of all BIG CLIVE’S delicate parts.
Queensland never looked so attractive!
When BIG CLIVE is completed, I will announce another nation building project. BIG GINA will tower taller than Ayers Rock, (no longer Uluru). Jackhammer crews at the bottom will be chipping off rock souvenirs for tourists, until the rock is the shape of PM Peter Dutton's head, Gina patting his bald pate, keeping him in his place.
Exacting times, exciting projects from eccentric government working at the coalface, delivering the projects YOU need at the DEAD heart of Australia.
Since youse arksed - written, spoken and authorised by Paul Liam Manson
SINCE YOUSE ARKSED - 1The Canberra Elites BubbleThe Canberra elites bubble think they are big swinging Dicks. Well I swing too, but I am ridickless. Watch the dickie bird people. What goes around comes around comes aground. It’s time to change the para dig m. And I am the serious potty… pot...potty lick...politician to do it.
They think question time is for entertainment, like some sort of menstrual show.
I will strain that swamp.
I have a lot of effluence in parliament.
I will upset the Apple tart. But I will be, as always, the pinna...piena... pineapple of politeness.
There’s an old saying treat them mean to keep them quinoa. That’s why in One Notion I like to sow a little dys..ent...ery in the ranks. I’ve brought in Mark Latham - fresh meat, one more arrow in my holster. It’s my party and I’ll do what I want to. If any of the members disagree, they will be dismembered.
One Notion is a lavatory of innovation... excreting new policies all the time.
Scott Morrison, the liberals exhausted leader, is just a wolf in cheap clothing. I think he has old timer’s disease, he can’t make up his mind. He is going up and down like a metronome. It is nearly impossible to negotiate with him. He remains intransitive for all intensive purposes. He is a chronological liar.
If he said yes to just one of my proposals, you could knock me over with a fender. But I won’t suffer a mental shakedown. He is dead to me, as dead as a dildo. Not some big swinging dick.
I am strong, like Tony Abbott, not because I wear cocky smugglers but because I too am the suppository of all wisdom.
Written, spoken and authorised by Paul Liam Manson for the One Notion Party, Flipswich
Since Youse Arksed - 2MARRIAGE AND WOMEN
MARRIAGE
I could of told youse decayeds ago. Patience is a virgin. And now Straya is deteriating and we have a bombing nation of gay marriage instead of serial monotony. I believe only a woman and a man can be the bride and glum. I will ensure Australia is frozen in aspen. I can emphasise with the baker forced to bake a cake for a gay wedding, I used to love frying up the Chinese ... dim Sims.
If a marriage does go off the road, we should not blame men for the car crash. Adam was probly swerving to avoid Eve, not hit her. And she should of gotten down off her high horse before he was saddled with her.
WOMEN
I long ago went through mental pause ladies, but I understand where youse are coming from. I will stand up for youse and your children. I understand the importance of the bondage between a mother and child.
We must stand up for those who can’t defend for themselves. No man is going to get on top of me.
I only go to a woman doctor for my groinocology.
But, I have no time for the women’s lubrication movement, they are ovary acting.
I have ONE word for those of us who want to stay celibate. Lockyer Valley.
But Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
GENDER
I have no time for the trans agenda people. Look at me, I did not need to have a sex change, but I have gone from strength to stench. I have no probs with My pronouns. I can pronounce anythink..
Transgender kids should be taken off their parents, like they should of taken the doll off their little boys
They should get on my trans phobia...trans phoberian railway to the truth
LGBTIQ.. what does it all mean? I’m from the old school, so I have no understanding, Queer? what happened to the old words, homo and poof? Homos should of stayed at home and the Poofs kept comfily underfoot.
I’m sorry, I’m sick of all these letters. LGBTIQ should have an H for homo firmly inserted and Q deleted
To make it easier to understand, the acrony...acrony...acronyism should be rederanged to read BLIGHT. .. blight
Written, spoken and authorised by Paul Liam Manson for the One Notion Party, Flipswich
SINCE YOUSE ARKSED - 3
INDIGENOUS AND FOREIGN AFFAIRS
Indigenous affairs? I am all over it like a rash. I was born here. I am indigent. But do you hear me whining and complaining?
If indigenous people want a voice to parliament, why have they not approached me to be their voice. They need to not go off half-cocked with some hair-brained scheme that leaves them up Uluru without a paddle. I had to climb to get to my position, and they could too if they put their heart into it.
Ovaseas issues
Trump is making America great again. I am making speeches grate again.
Britain needs to Breakfast from Europe . Bacon and eggs, not croissants and coffee. A hard breakfast. I told Britain it will be Big Ben official if they no longer need to abseil across the English Channel. I have channel vision about these things....extra century perception The Brits have better churches than the Europeans too, Westminister Abbott is superior to Michaelangelo’s Sixteenth Chapel.
I have withdrawn my support for the Monarchy after learning Kate Middleton was in Labor. But Prince Andrew has my support in his foreign affairs. My proud boys, James and Steve, had their own nearly affair with the NRA. If it had suckseeded, we would have had the testicles of the government by the balls. I have a loaded shotgun under the dartboard of my car. You never know when you might have to put down native fauna that gets too randy.
In our own region, we need to stand up to China’s extrusions, into the oceans pacifically. If they come too close, I have my shanghai ready. Peking duck!
Asylum seekers should get what they want. Put them in an asylum.
Written, spoken and authorised by Paul Liam Manson for the One Notion Party, Flipswich
SINCE YOUSE ARKSED - 4
MULTICLUTTERISM AND DRUGS
MULTICLUTTERISM
Have I been not sane for years that multiclutterism has gone too far? I stand up for the white clutter underdogs. Now Australia has all the colours of the rectum. It is unparalysed in the nation’s history. I will NOT eat foreign food like squid, or crabs or any other crushed Asians. Once at a barbecue I ate a halal sausage and it made me want to go outback and put on a Bourkea.
But I am willing to change my mind in the light of heavy dents. I received lots of flax when I criticised the Strain Tax Orifice for installating squat toilets for Muslims. Halal, people...I still stand by my squat toilet position, but I did pull back a little because it was drawn to my tension that my ancestors explored and claimed vast tracts of QLD by squatting… leaving their mark.
But look, political cricket nets has gone too far out of the white ball park. My new hardware bill will bring it back to the senseless centre. My new Religious Freedom law will ban Bunnings from selling timber and nails so as not to offend us Christians.
DRUGS
It’s simple. Drug addicts should just go cold duck. Drunks should say no before they get sea roaches of the liver. If you go to a music festival, and are elucidating... sniff her dogs.
The people from war torn countries in subterranean africa. They lay about and take drugs with immunity.
The only thing I am willing to put into my mouth is decapitated coffee. I will not be evacuated out of orifice for drug taking. Some call me a heroin for the stands I take, but someone has to say the things no-one else would.
Written, spoken and authorised by Paul Liam Manson for the One Notion Party, Flipswich
Since youse arksed - 5
Global warming and the kids climate strike?
Let me tell youse people, I recently climbed Ayers Rock - all over it like a rash - and it’s no hotter or drier than it always was. There is no global warming. If you don’t believe me, go climate yourself.
But it’s not all about me, here’s a word from my spokesscreen on climate and the mining environment.
My name’s Malcolm Roberts, descended from Hobbits
My ideas come from deep underground.
There’s no global warming where rocks are still forming
My Jurassic ideas are still sound!
I know that I know what I know’s what I know
and I know that science is no good.
Their data is twisted and must be adjusted
To make sense to a head filled with wood.
The ideas that define me are like the rump that’s behind me
They make such a sweet smelling sound,
I don’t like your attitude, the world is much flatter dude
Than you who say it is round.
La la la la la la la
SINCE YOUSE ARKSED - 6CLIMATE CHANGE
Climate change? Puhleez people. I have been at the waterfront of the climate change debate. I have been detrimental in keeping it on the agenda. My ideas have risen so high because they are not weighed down by imperial evidence.
I’ve seen the rising tides of heat in this big, large, huge, mass debate. Climate change is just in scientists minds - a pigment of their imagination that’s bounding over the steps of probability beyond my apprehension. We have to hose down their inflammations with a fire distinguisher. Scientists, if it’s too hot for you then get out of our Aussie kitchen, and put good installation in your ceiling.
Besides, more windy weather is good. It stirs up the pollen and can be hard on the sciences. The Brisbane floods were so bad they had to evaporate parts of the city. But it would be precipitative to say they were because of climate change. I know my facts because I have a photogenic memory.
It is basic. The sun warms the earth's surface. The surface, by contact, warms the moving, circulating atmosphere. This means the atmosphere cools the surface. How then can the atmosphere warm it. It cannot. That is why their computer models are wrong."
I will introduce a new policy to privatise the weather. Under a government with me as the cold front, temperatures and seas will be higher, so you will be warmer in winter and closer to the beach. I will also legislate there only be two seasons. Big summer, and little simmer.
The Darling River is drying up because of two factors: 1, Trickle down economics, and 2, it is incontinent.
The Canberra club bubble misunderestimated my dogginess in chewing this bone of denial. Malcolm Roberts will be my spokesscreen for climate and will fight facts with fire. I have contempt for the greenies who think they are saving energy by riding around on their tantrum bicycles.
Written, spoken and authorised by Paul Liam Manson for the One Notion Party, Flipswich
And a word from my spokesscreen:
My name’s Malcolm Roberts, descended from hobbits,
My ideas come from deep underground.
There’s no global warming, down where rocks are still forming
My Jurassic ideas are still sound
I know that I know what I know’s what I know
and I know that science is no good
Their data is twisted and must be adjusted to make sense to a head filled with wood
The ideas that define me are like the rump that’s behind me
They make such a sweet smelling sound,
I don’t like your attitude, the world is much flatter dude
Than you who say it is round.
La la la la la la la
sorry
At Least We Said Sorry - original tune and lyrics
Sorry there is a problem, we tried to solve it, don't try to shame us. Sorry there is a problem, we tried it all, so you can't blame us. We tried Invasion, annexation, empty nation, proclamation, colonisation, exploration, confiscation, devastation starvation, relocation, outstation, extermination, Poison blankets, poison flour, poison water, genocide We tried Massacres, decimation, eradication, forced migration, Domestication, cattle station, isolation, alienation, Overseers, subjugation, custody, fragmentation. Stockman, servant, tobacco and sugar ration, Sorry there is a problem, we tried to solve it, don't try to shame us. Sorry there is a problem, we tried it all, so you can't blame us. We tried Christian nation, congregation, salvation, damnation, Domination, desecration, accusation, prohibition On the mission, get permission, cross cultural collision Paternalism, racism, no self determination We tried Segregation, fragmentation, education, integration, Legislation, reservation, liquidation, alcohol Mining, exploration, excavation, degradation, Sacred sites, exploitation, radiation, what tradition? Sorry there is a problem, we tried to solve it, don't try to shame us. Sorry there is a problem, we tried it all, so you can't blame us. We tried Administration, registration, regulation, police station, Incarceration, interrogation, deaths in custody Unemployment, sit down money, close the gap, suicide, low life expectation, child protection, stolen generations, No reforms, indecision, no action on royal commissions No referendum, recognition, land rights, constitution No apology, intervention, without any consultation No voice to parliament, grains of sand in a hand Sorry there is a problem, we tried to solve it, don't try to shame us. Sorry there is a problem, This is our statement from the heart of power Her skin hangs heavy walking in the street. His skin hangs heavy living in Australia. At least we said Sorry |
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Our songs dig into
knifing prime ministers the economy great god growth globalisation gun-control democracy factionalism lack of talent racism, indigenous affairs sexual abuse the church secrecy and govt intrusion global warming bribery whose fault is it? power prices war, militarism sexism entitlement fear refugees, asylum seekers, border protection, mining, fracking, coal power, money, inequality banking the boys club revenge leadership independents economic rationalism corruption public schools political point scoring Talking points environment the Right social media unions disillusionment shock jocks, and sensationalism. 'Straya Day Personalities: Scott Morrison, Trump, Pauline, Tony Abbott, Chris Pyne, Bronwyn Bishop, Julie Bishop, Eric Abetz, Corey Bernardi, Michalea Cash, Bob Katter, Barnaby Joyce, Bill Shorten, Albo, John Howard, Eddie Obeid, Malcolm Roberts, Rolf Harris, Don Burke... |
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